The Saurus vs. Rone

Watch the battle here.

Round 1

Rone

Word to my fuckin American flag tube socks

If I catch you on the rooftop, you gettin Billy Boondock'ed

I'll pick up where I left off with Big T. Cuz you're my bro for real

Dog you will never know the joy of running through an open field.

You used to be skinny. Now you've got tits and a belly as well;

All of those extra helpings but you really weren't helping yourself.

You are so hungry. His favorite part of sex is eating ass.

Fuck a thousand reps, you're out of breath by the time that the beans are passed.

Some ham comes steaming past, you should see the way he react,

breathin fast like he completed a 800 meter dash,

he would gas, sweat beading, he eats or he's seizing fast,

sweaty wrists, feeble hands, all he is is a meaty slab,

sponge bath? They gon' squeegee that; Buffet? It's an easy pass,

and if you don't like fat jokes, well then fuckin stop being fat.

But Pete's a role model, and a G for sho.

But when I just said "Pete's-a roll model", all he heard was pizza roll.

If I think serial rape, I think one of the girls that Cosby has fucked.

If you think cereal rape, you're finishing a Lucky Charms box all at once.

If I think, my Woman Crush Wednesday, well, she's especially thick.

Your Woman Crush Wednesday is any Wednesday that you have sex with a chick.

But we both like sports.. Both count it as a hobby.

Some of enjoy playing sports. Some just enjoy watching.

Bro if you and I play sports, you would bomb like Nagasaki.

You get out of breath after a game of tonsil hockey.

You would get a concussion playing Fantasy Football.

You would tear your ACL playing beer pong - that's not a good look, dog.

We at odds like it's Vegas? Well I would be the favorite.

Mariota vs. Jameis, Tom Brady versus Peyton.

The star will get ate (8), so that makes him Troy Aikman.

I'll salute him, then put his ass a mile high - Terrell Davis.

I'll go shots to your temple, bro, fuck what this mark makin' (Mark Macon).

I'll put you on the sideline, chillin' with Nick Saban.

By now, bro you light off the top, that's Chris Kaman,

I'm the way Ray is with the Ravens or the Bears with Walter Peyton.

But you love talking through people's rounds. So you can't compare me to son.

It's funny you love sports, but you're a terrible one.

You have no basic rhythm. Your concepts are just forgetful.

So how can we go back to basics if you don't know fundamentals?

You have the most copied style. I've researched, it's true.

But if a million people can copy it. that means it's easy to do.

I mean you wish you could say you fathered me.

He wants me sisters with his daughter, he's weird, it's startin to bother me,

he called my pops about adopting me.

But I could boss you up up in your own house pussy.

You only had a daughter for the Girl Scout cookies.

So I don't give a fuck if you are one cool dad,

for me and your daughter, hey, fuck you, man.

The Saurus

This is how quick I'ma beat ya.

That was crazy how you went from a vocal impression of Bart then switched into Lisa.

Now I can promise y'all, in the worst way, he'll for sure hate my approach.

I can outwrite everything that this nerd say, and our wordplay isn't close.

I could punch him until he needs first aid, or shit could turn straight to a roast,

either way, this is gonna be the worst rape, since you were first raped, by your coach.

Last chance to bet on me if you ain't put your money up yet,

I'll wipe the Prince (prints) off of the scene, and they ain't found a bloody glove yet.

The shit about you, Penn State, Sandusky? All pretty fuckin suspect,

but I won't talk about you being molested ... It's a really touchy subject.

You're softer than a sunset. You're in over your head, Roney;

Philly folk, start spilling 40-O's for your dead homie.

You best show me respect owed or I'm exploding

in the House of Gods, bless Rone's soul, he'll get left holey/holy.

That's irony. Like a right from me leave his eye runny.

Get fried, but I'll crack somethin on the side, Sonny.

I heard it from the grapevine up in wine country

that he might take a stage dive for the prize money.

Now speakin of stage dives...

Let's talk about that Daylyt shit for a second.

You wanted to use a gimmick against him; he had different intentions,

but thinkin a Abe Lincoln impression would win shit against him?

That's the biggest bitch cop out since Olivia Benson.

He said he has a URL battle. ..But ain't nobody saw the shit.

So if KOTD's vaultin this, I think we know whose fault it is.

Yours. You gave it the old college try, now call it quits,

he balled his fist and tried to throw, I caught the pitch like Carlton Fisk.

Roney, this'll be your worst night ever.

Every line, every word I render. Do a worldwide web search,

name someone he's been served by better.

People barely show on this bitch like the first trimester.

Now... Have I mentioned how Sandusky molested you yet?

You're like his Jefferson Price. Hashtag #neverforget.

Now, I'm not saying he did the shit, and I'm not saying he's innocent,

I'm just saying, we can't judge Rone based on several thousand isolated incidents.

Round 2

Rone

I'm Brian Bosworth; I could do you like Okwerdz.

Grind them gears, watch we put (h)our hands to his face like clockwork.

You get hit and run just for fun like Dante Stallworth,

or you could catch the fade: corner route to Lance Alworth.

We could throw, like Brad Penny or Chad Henne.

You could catch the bam a lam like "Black Betty",

get served at any time of the day like you at Denny's,

I'm the fastest Italian since Mario Andretti.

But you the type to fall in love with a whore named Cinnamon.

Whore, The Saurus, ain't that a synonym of a girl that'll sin on him?

So I guess that makes me his antonym,

but they barely feel you like there's an ant in 'im;

You sound like a fag; you put the homo in homonym,

WRC shit, to homi him I'll sick Hom on 'im,

Dog, you look like you jerk off a ton!

Just like.. playin poker, watchin a bunch of battles,

you have to be jerking off all the time!

I don't have a punchline, just, we know, okay?

And here's another fact to make you think your whole life over:

you moved to Las Vegas.. to play online poker.

Bro, you could play online poker anywhere, from Peru to the Bronx.

So you chasin that dream, well that's an unusual thought,

but I think I know the real reason for you movin your plot -

You went cuz prostitution is legal, and you were due to get caught.

Fact or fiction? Your life is a series of bad decisions,

and now you can't get women but you blame your metabolism,

and in that condition losin weight's like crackin an algorithm,

cuz you couldn't so restraint if you were into masochism.

All stuck in a market(?), in your musty apartment,

dusty and dark with the fuckin musk of an armpit,

overrunning with garbage, blunt guts are discarded,

fuckin pizza crusts on the carpet, it screams "struggling artist",

All lazy, all day he just pushes a rolling chair;

the only danger he ever faces is when he gets close to stairs.

Wearing tighty whiteys, the holey pair, and a bathrobe as overwear,

your girl wear the same drawers Oprah wear with the weight, waist and face of a polar bear.

All you do is send tweets as you go through your day.

Oh good. Let's hear more about the poker you play.

When you break up with a girl, when a new one opens her legs,

as you have breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then both of your cakes.

But, I mean, when I call myself a slob, it's self-deprecating. There's some tact with it.

When you call yourself a slob, it is disgustingly accurate.

Fuck battle shit, the only time that he's an innovator

is when he taught his dog to fetch a beer from the refrigerator.

Is there a minute of your day that you're not looking at a screen?

Do you have bread, cheese, and meat with every meal that you eat?

Do you claim you're crushing life and that you're living a dream

when you're just a sweaty stereotype who's just obese and obscene?

See I stand for the U.S. and all that's great about us,

but you represent everything the world hates about us.

The Saurus

Me being what everyone hates might be true, fool,

But at least I don't remind everybody I'm a white skinny American every 5 seconds like you do.

I wouldn't say this if it wasn't true.

There's multiple people in this fuckin room who've ducked this dude,

that thought it would be more important to come to this event

than to battles that they'd booked with you.

But you wanna be that next artist KOTD will push hardest,

he from Philly, but his whole look started in Good Charlotte.

You cursed. Basically every battle you book's garbage,

cuz they keep hangin bud out to dry like a kush harvest.

Look, dog, we've all had opponents that ducked,

but it's gettin to your head, and now Roney's gassed up.

Fuck it, I'ma add to your stroke of bad luck.

They finally got a real test tossed at Rone (testosterone), now man up.

No weddings, no snow storms, no pathetic excuses.

No holds barred, no more respect for these new kids.

Nowadays, an up-and-comer testa a legend and loses,

and thinks he's seasoned in a day like a Netflix exclusive.

Not today though, not today, I'm borderline spazzin.

So before y'all try actin like this battle is some torch that I'm passin,

Watch - a super soaker vers' a .45 Magnum,

then see the poster boy gets posterized as Jordan flies past him.

I will flatline you Roney; this as easy as it gets.

A rapper vers' a gimmick that's been beaten half to death.

Plain as black and white, he'll hit you with some cheesy ass effects,

right off the Bat, man that's exactly why they bringin Adam West.

But can Adam test me? Can this nerd stand the pressure?

Well that's a long shot, like the Birdman director.

Homie when people see me they get excited like Santa Clause is coming.

When they see you, they're like "Oh look, it's the Daniel Tosh of nothing."

Round 3

Rone

So you call yourself the two time champ. And I like it, it's great.

I won the spirit award in high school tennis twice, so I can relate.

But "Mr. Two Time Everything"? Is that right?

So, the presidency? The Super Bowl, did you win that twice?

Oh, oh, you won two things two times. So you're the four-time champ.

Well I'm the prince of 16s, so I'm four times that.

Fuck your war cries; I'll wash em. Where the fluoride at?

With your fuckin rawhide face, man I'll pork rind that.

If I want your girl, I'll take your girl. Cuz that's just how she want it,

and I'm makin a de-posit right in her meat wallet;

he wears his rap championship rings when he's tryin to be brolic,

but it's no problem to steal your rings, I already done beat Sonic.

Dog, I could make you a better better, but I have lessons as well,

gambling is an addiction, so it's time we get him some help.

I have seen the girls you've fucked. Let's just say that you've had better.

Your range starts at fat heffer, and spans to transgender.

One looked just like you. I swear she was your fan member,

but it's no shock that a gambler has a terrible track record.

You're like a substance abuser the way you mortgage your future,

yo Organik, show me a gambler and I'll show you a loser.

Bro, even look at your battle career, because it shows that you're shit,

cuz if you were a good gambler, you would know when to quit.

You love to bet on yourself, like it's a game in your mind.

So I made up my own odds for you, on the ways that you'll die.

So heart attack? Two to one, that one was easy.

Ten to one? He goes to KFC and he chokes on a fuckin three-piece,

a hundred to one, he fuckin dies of lung cancer cuz he's been smokin like Chief Keef,

a thousand to one, he has a stroke.. of genius, and shoots right through these teeth,

half a million to one, he dies exhausted, fuckin hookers on repeat,

a million to one, he dies retired on a yacht out at deep sea,

a billion to one, he's trampled by fans wantin CDs,

or a trillion to one, he died of shock cuz he actually beat me.

My graveyard's riddled with tyrants, watch me belittle goliaths,

how many giants I gotta kill before I'm considered a giant?

The dun-dudda, god body, John Gotti with the wrench.

The West vers' everybody? How bout me vers' everybody on the West?

Who I beat? Bro, anybody in Cali or from Cali, I put em down in order.

Who I beat, and who's left, well the second list is shorter.

I turned Caustic into a personal information hoarder;

I made 360 one-eighty, sent him running across the border;

I turned Fredo to a angel, put that Baby in his corner;

I turned Okwerdz to a blogger, made him lose all his supporters;

I got Day laid out like it was frickin brick and mortar,

I turned Dirtbag Dan to a sideline reporter.

I would call out Dumb and Diz, but I'm not holdin my breath.

But shit, I think that they might be the only ones left.

See I get rowdy in the ring, I put a bounty on that thing,

they call me Roney Bae the Prince, but out in Cali I'm the king.

The Saurus

Lemme address that shit you little weak ass bitch -

I got two homies that you'll immediately lose a rematch with.

And here's the other part that wasn't fully complete with me,

you listed all the West Coast battlers you beat but somehow mentioned 360.

Who remembers when Rone said, "what I gotta do now to get love up on the stage?

Pull my dick out or punch someone in the face?

Nah, I'll just be me, cuz that's all it fuckin takes."

Or, a month later, I'll dress up like Honest Abe,

watch my opponent jump off the fuckin stage,

and I'll just stand there in a tophat lookin' like some sucka who got played.

But is Rone the #1 contender for the chain? I suppose.

But if he's the guy you chose, it was probably only... by a nose.

I dunno what Adam meant by great, but I'm adamant I'm greater.

This is like comparin Canibus to Drake, or analysts to players.

There's a major gap between us, and see that's the difference maker.

Some people say we're in the same class.. but so were Shaq and Christian Laettner.

Bitch you majored in Journalism. But nothing's happened yet,

except your mom and dad just split cuz they're a hundred grand in debt.

I've got a Master's in the same field, cuz I learned how to hit paydirt.

I took off-the-head lines and turned em into paper. That's a Journalism major.

Make your best shot, Prince, don't keep the king waiting.

I'll turn Adam to a bitch from a freakin rib breaking.

Every shot I land see my ego inflating.

It ain't even spring training and you see my swing changing.

Now everybody live tweeting, I want you take this down.

Rone's softer than a Charlie Clips name flip round.

Rone's softer than Charron's birthday cake is.

Rone's soft as being friends with strippers on a first name basis.

I hate to say it homie, but you got no identity.

White and skinny the only things that stand out to you specially.

So instead of spending three months doing your homework prep for me,

you could've looked in the mirror once and saw your own (you're Rone) worst enemy.

And I'm not saying I don't the know the difference between two genders,

but how come he 'n Bruce Jenner 've never been seen together.

Cover photo by Michael Marshall.

These lyrics were transcribed by Skip Macintyre for his MOSS battle rap scoring system. You can rate the lyrics on his website.