The announcement of Charlie Clips vs. Shotty Horroh for Don't Flop's "7th Birthday Weekend" has set the bar high for the rest of the card, and staff members are already hyping the match-ups as the league's best ever, as long as everything goes according to plan.
The shifting allegiances between leagues and battlers complicate any attempt to predict the line-up of an international card, but what can be said with certainty is that where one door closes, another opens. It's highly unlikely we'll see Dizaster or Daylyt battling for the league again any time soon, but the success of Don’t Flop USA should open up new avenues for Eurgh and his team to explore. The new links forged during Don’t Flop’s American expansion could see the likes of Rum Nitty and John John Da Don making their debut on British shores (suggested match-ups: Raptor and Unanymous).
Transatlantic politics aside, a lot of the biggest names on the Don’t Flop roster will be eager to test themselves against North American opposition, and the quality of content we saw at "Sunburn 2" shows that many of them are ready for that step.
Long-term partners Shuffle-T and Marlo probably don’t think much of NWX going around asserting that they “started the 2-on-2 wave,” and DNA might therefore make a return in tandem with K-Shine (as long as his passport gets sorted) to take on the U.K. doubles champions — perhaps even for the title, as Eurgh suggested in a BattleRap.com interview from June.
One caveat: there's a good chance the final card won't be quite as stacked as what we're suggesting below, but wild speculation and battle rap have always gone hand-in-hand, so let's get started.
Lunar C vs. Dumbfoundead
During his long absence from the scene, those fans who asserted that Lunar was a sore loss to the DF roster were often reminded that he had never battled anyone better than Uno Lavoz. When Lunar finally did return at "Checkpoint 2," it felt like Oshea had already lost the battle in his head before the first round had even begun – the fact that it was only ever referred to as “Lunar’s comeback battle” can’t have helped. It’s finally time for Lunar to prove himself against an opponent who can actually rap — and Dumbfoundead is that opponent.
You could argue that this battle should happen outside of England — one of Lunar’s great advantages is the ferocious loyalty of his fan base, and it would be interesting to see how he performs in a less sectarian environment. But Dumbfoundead is a seasoned professional who, like Lunar, has a reputation as a musician and live performer beyond the close confines of battle rap. If anyone can outdo him both line-for-line and joke-for-joke, it's Dumb.
Bigg K vs. Oshea
The deceptive similarity between these two battlers is encapsulated in their ad-libs of choice. Bigg K likes to sneer “trash” during his opponents’ rounds, arms folded across his chest and face impassive beneath a pulled-low snapback. Oshea basically does the same thing to himself, burbling “fucking terrible” as he leans on his opponent for support and slops beer onto the floor. Both are catchphrases which suggest an ironic detachment from the battle culture, and both rappers act like they don’t give a shit about battling, but at the same time then they’re both very good at it.
Bigg K has previously stated his appreciation for Oshea and it would be interesting to see how he would cope with the Scouser’s trademark irreverence — though K is capable of joking around, he is almost always paired against deadly serious street rappers. Oshea sometimes seems to struggle a little against opponents who intimidate him, either with their popularity (witness his unusually tame delivery of his material against Lunar C) or with their physicality and reputation, but the thought of him taking the piss out of K as the Virginian behemoth struggles to keep a smirk from his face is too perfect.
UPDATE: Oh nevermind actually. It's Oshea vs. Kid Twist. In that case, let's see Bigg K vs. Wizard.
Illmaculate vs. Soul
Ironically, the same conflict that would add drama to this battle could also prevent it from happening, but if the money is right and Eurgh and Organik can settle their differences then this champion-vs.-champion clash is an irresistible prospect. (A battle between two men too cool to be champions, Tony D and Pat Stay, is just as enticing, but probably just as unlikely to go down. Pat is apparently set to make his British battle debut outside of DF on Battle Of The Brave, and Tony continues to vacillate over the future of his battle career).
The negative press generated by Eurgh’s cancellation at "World Domination 5" will add extra fuel to any battle between a Brit and a North American at this year's birthday. It will be interesting to see how Soul handles this issue — not only is he an occasional British expat to Canada who has had his own quarrels with Eurgh before, but as champion he will doubtless be called upon to defend his league in any future international clash.
Soul has talked before about writing defensively as well as offensively to preempt his opponent’s attacks, but resisting Illmac’s fantastically dense assaults would be his greatest challenge yet. Soul has never faced a North American mega-star before, and though he performed masterfully against the likes of Osa, Ness Lee and Pigsty, a battle against someone of Illmac’s caliber would be a far greater opportunity to solidify his reputation in the U.S. market.
Ogmios vs. Head I.C.E
By some distance the most gnostic battle ever proposed, this match-up between DF’s talismanic vegan oddball and the veteran hood Confucius from Harlem is a fascinating prospect. Both ramble freely into the realms of the deeply unexpected, delivering bars that would sound absurd coming from the mouth of any other emcee.
Og’s brilliance is in finding an unpredictable angle then pursuing it far further and deeper than any other battler would, creating rounds that are structured like the endlessly spiraling fractals of an acid trip. I.C.E combines surreal non-sequiturs with some of the hardest shit ever uttered: “real killers don’t gotta give em that dead kick/ We can tell by the way the leg twitch."
The cancellation of his battle against Carter Deems is a tragic artistic loss to mankind, but its mere existence as a possibility shows that despite his street credentials I.C.E is open to battling the less conventional figures in the scene. He has also displayed a surprising knowledge of the U.K. scene in interviews.
A battle between the rapper who professes that he controls everything and the rapper who claims to commune with his druidic ancestors would be a meeting of two deeply unusual, original minds.
Rone vs. Cruger
When this match-up was suggested as we kicked ideas around for the article, my initial reaction was that it had to have happened before. It took five minutes scouring YouTube before I realized that I was mistaken: the clash makes so much sense that it is surely only a matter of time before someone puts it together.
Rone is one of the hottest battlers in the world right now, but Cruger is the type of opponent who could pull the red carpet out from under his feet as he ascends towards an inevitable challenge for the KOTD title.
Cruger is masterful in his selection of absurdist, unexpected lines of attack. Rone actually tends to take fairly conventional angles — the obesity of his opponent, the absurdity of their street persona, his whiteness and theirs — but carries them out in superlatively original fashion. Rone is smarting from a rare (if debatable) loss, upstaged by Kid Twist (and Norm Kelly) at WD5, and will be hungry for a big-name scalp; Cruger saves his rare appearances in front of the camera for Don’t Flop’s annual flagship event, and hasn’t lost a battle for years.
So long as both rappers avoid reducing the battle into a viral “NERDY GUYS DO RAP BATTLE” schtick then a clash between these two fan favorites would be too close to call — unless of course Cruger brings out Boris Johnson.
What match-ups do you want to see on the card? Let us know in the comments below.
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